On the front lawn of a halfway house, a vascular punk named Victor who looks like he's a fan of The Screamers viciously chops wood. A Baby Huey abomination enters the scene, face stained with chocolate, blubbering of his willingness to assist. Rick's rage boils over,
Unfortunately, vintage horror movie novelizations have gone the way of all collectors items: They are hoarded by eBay dorks and bar-code scanning resellers, the arch enemies of those of us with actual autistic-adjacent interests (Looks in mirror accusatorily). These dog-eared adaptations are priced in a way that
"FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!" These are the poetic last words of school bully Tony in Fear No Evil. Tony stabs himself to death in the crotch after discovering that he's grown breasts from kissing the Antichrist. I am so happy I can write that
The Stepfather series is the little slasher trilogy that could. We will ignore the early aughts remake because it is an affront against all pleasant things in life, but otherwise this is a set of films marked by profoundly silly excellence. Jerry Blake is consumed by an obsession with becoming
I've often told my anecdote about first seeing The Gate. At a young age, I vividly remember catching it on television while home alone. Unlike the curated hellscape of apps that is modern television, I had no guide (or TV guide for the matter) to clarify that I
There has never been a truly great adaptation of Salem's Lot. King's second published novel holds a very special place in my heart. I find it one of his best efforts, lacking the cocaine-fueled bloat of later works and sticking the landing where most of
In cinema, space travel is one of the best ways to expose the folly of man. From Pazuzu issuing premonitions of death, to distress signals ending with a greased up dick monster pushing your shit in, the void beyond our skies is a place to explore if you seek a
There's been a recent flurry of discourse about The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Specifically the direction of its next iteration, with musings on how you can modernize the slaughterhouse. There will always be discourse about it, which speaks to the inherent power of Tobe Hooper's Southern-fried
Every craft has its language, from medicine to magic. Knowledge gives that language context, which infuses it with power. In INFERNO, our protagonists live outside that knowledge. They enter blind into a world of black sorcery, unprepared for the violence of its adepts. That's the true the secret
She stares into the empty sockets, and watches as out of the twin voids something begins to coalesce. Flames licking upwards, infernal and endless where once were the gateways to the soul. There's a history to be told beyond those scorching fingers and she sees it resurrected, tinged
In Mandy, our doomed lovers share a pre-tragedy dinner of microwavable meals while taking in a very special piece of cinema. Mandy and Red sit rapt as a snaggle toothed, jumpsuit-clad creature tears open abdomens and uses a laser pistol to blow away anyone crossing its path. I
In 1973 a movie was released about a demon living within the body of a young girl. Its arrival was a nuclear explosion in the world of cinema, creating urban legends, upending genre expectations and solidifying its place as the last word on possession horror. Cathy's Curse is